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*"From 'The President's Cook' to 'The President's Drummer': The Story of the Opportunist Who Bet on the Military and Became El-Sisi's Drummer!" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "The President's Drummer – When Propaganda Becomes a Ramadan Drama" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"From 'The President's Cook' to 'The President's Drummer': The Story of the Opportunist Who Bet on the Military and Became El-Sisi's Drummer!" * --- Full English Translation After the massive popular success of the film "The President's Cook," the United Media Company has begun putting the final touches on its grandest new national production, to be aired next Ramadan: the series "The President's Drummer" (Al-Tabbal), in which a constellation of the biggest stars of cinema and television will participate. It tells the story of the rise of a poor, opportunistic young man to the court of Her Majesty, who managed to climb through the corridors of journalism by snitching on and scheming against his colleagues, and ingratiating himself with his superiors, so that he...
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*"The Dutch PM Calls Shablanga's Mayor: 'Stop Washing Your Dirty Laundry in Europe' – And Agrees on Shipments of Bovine Ghee for Feteer Meshaltet!" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "The Dutch Prime Minister Calls Shablanga's Mayor – Ghee Diplomacy" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"The Dutch PM Calls Shablanga's Mayor: 'Stop Washing Your Dirty Laundry in Europe' – And Agrees on Shipments of Bovine Ghee for Feteer Meshaltet!" * --- Full English Translation Dutch Prime Minister Dick Schoof made a telephone call to Hajj Abdel Shakour Abdel Dayem, Chief of Shablanga, Qalyubia, in which he reviewed the nature of the recent events concerning the Egyptian Embassy in The Hague, and explained to him the position of the local police, which was neutral toward the young man Anas Habib and his brother Tarek, and allowed them to demonstrate freely and express their opinions within the limits of the law. Mr. Dick Schoof also complained to the Chief about the actions of the loyalists of the Egyptian government, whom the Dutch authorities had also allowed to demonstrate — while knowing that they a...
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*"A Dutch Play Mocks El-Sisi: 'Balah Al-Zaman' Is a Dictator Who Flees from 'Anas Al-Wujud' Across European Capitals!" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "Anas Al-Wujud and Balah Al-Zaman in The Hague – When El-Sisi Becomes 'Balah Al-Zaman'" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"A Dutch Play Mocks El-Sisi: 'Balah Al-Zaman' Is a Dictator Who Flees from 'Anas Al-Wujud' Across European Capitals!" * --- Full English Translation The famous Majestic Theatre in The Hague, the capital of the Netherlands, is currently staging the great comic theatrical play "Anas Al-Wujud and Balah Al-Zaman," adapted from the famous Egyptian film presented by the stars Mahmoud Shokoko and Serag Mounir in the 1950s. The play revolves around a violent struggle and confrontation between the clever young man "Anas Al-Wujud" — who plays the role of Lublub in the film — and a huge-bodied, muscular, stupid, reckless, foolish person named in the play "Balah Al-Zaman" — who plays the role of Antar in the film. Comedic and exciting adventures take place ba...
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*"Major General Samir Farag Reveals the Secret: The New Suez Canal Branch Was Dug to Stop the Israeli Army from Occupying the Delta and the Nile!" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "The Suez Canal Branch – The Secret Military Barrier Against Israel" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"Major General Samir Farag Reveals the Secret: The New Suez Canal Branch Was Dug to Stop the Israeli Army from Occupying the Delta and the Nile!" * --- Full English Translation Within the framework of Egypt's celebrations of the anniversary of the glorious October War, military expert Major General Samir Farag revealed, in his meeting with Ahmed Moussa on this occasion, a major strategic surprise prepared by El-Sisi for Israel, and a dangerous military secret broadcast for the first time that will shock its leaders when they hear it now: that the real purpose of digging the New Suez Canal branch was to obstruct the advance and crossing of the Israeli army — after it occupies Sinai — to the west of the Canal, in order to occupy eastern Egypt and the Delta, reaching Cairo and the Nile, to achieve its dream in the Gre...
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*"Kemet Is a Pharaonic State: The Pyramid Texts Are the Source of Legislation, the Pharaoh Is Elected by the Priests of Saqqara – Long Live Kemet!" *

The Kemetic Democratic Party's Political Programme – English Translation --- The Kemetic Democratic Party announced at a massive public conference in front of the Karnak Temple its political programme for contesting the upcoming elections, which includes the following principles: 1. Kemet is a sovereign democratic pharaonic state. 2. The Pyramid Texts are the primary source of legislation, and the principles of Maat and the instructions of Ptahhotep are the fundamental reference for personal status and family laws. 3. The Pharaoh of the country is elected by 75% of the priests of the Sacred Temple in Saqqara. 4. The capital of the country is a confederation of the villages of the Evil North Coast, and the ruling elite are the "People of Egypt" (Ahl Egypt). 5. The National Pharaonic Army is the strongest striking force in the Middle East, and its combat doctrine is the recovery of all pharaonic properties and lands reached by the armies of Thutmose III and Ramesses II. 6. ...
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*"Kemetic Party Condemns Quran Recitation in the Egyptian Museum – 'It Offends the Sanctity of the Pharaonic Gods'!" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "The Kemetic Democratic Party – When the Pharaohs Become a Religion" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"Kemetic Party Condemns Quran Recitation in the Egyptian Museum – 'It Offends the Sanctity of the Pharaonic Gods'!" * --- Full English Translation The Kemetic Democratic Party announced in a statement today its strong support for the position of the Ministry of Antiquities in investigating the person who recited the Quran inside the Grand Egyptian Museum — considering that this act scratches the sanctity of the pharaonic gods, insults the greatness of the kings, disturbs their eternal rest, and violates the symbolism of the place. It also constitutes a breach of Kemetic rituals that must be confronted with all firmness and strength. The spokesman added that the party had previously demanded the Ministry of Antiquities to recite the (Pyramid Texts) in the ancient Egyptian language through internal speakers in al...
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