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*"Kemet Is a Pharaonic State: The Pyramid Texts Are the Source of Legislation, the Pharaoh Is Elected by the Priests of Saqqara – Long Live Kemet!" *

The Kemetic Democratic Party's Political Programme – English Translation --- The Kemetic Democratic Party announced at a massive public conference in front of the Karnak Temple its political programme for contesting the upcoming elections, which includes the following principles: 1. Kemet is a sovereign democratic pharaonic state. 2. The Pyramid Texts are the primary source of legislation, and the principles of Maat and the instructions of Ptahhotep are the fundamental reference for personal status and family laws. 3. The Pharaoh of the country is elected by 75% of the priests of the Sacred Temple in Saqqara. 4. The capital of the country is a confederation of the villages of the Evil North Coast, and the ruling elite are the "People of Egypt" (Ahl Egypt). 5. The National Pharaonic Army is the strongest striking force in the Middle East, and its combat doctrine is the recovery of all pharaonic properties and lands reached by the armies of Thutmose III and Ramesses II. 6. ...
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*"Kemetic Party Condemns Quran Recitation in the Egyptian Museum – 'It Offends the Sanctity of the Pharaonic Gods'!" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "The Kemetic Democratic Party – When the Pharaohs Become a Religion" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"Kemetic Party Condemns Quran Recitation in the Egyptian Museum – 'It Offends the Sanctity of the Pharaonic Gods'!" * --- Full English Translation The Kemetic Democratic Party announced in a statement today its strong support for the position of the Ministry of Antiquities in investigating the person who recited the Quran inside the Grand Egyptian Museum — considering that this act scratches the sanctity of the pharaonic gods, insults the greatness of the kings, disturbs their eternal rest, and violates the symbolism of the place. It also constitutes a breach of Kemetic rituals that must be confronted with all firmness and strength. The spokesman added that the party had previously demanded the Ministry of Antiquities to recite the (Pyramid Texts) in the ancient Egyptian language through internal speakers in al...
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*"What If There Had Been No January 25 Revolution? El-Sisi Would Still Be a Deputy Governor Chasing Street Vendors!" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "The President Who Never Was – A Fictional Scenario of El-Sisi Without the January Revolution" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"What If There Had Been No January 25 Revolution? El-Sisi Would Still Be a Deputy Governor Chasing Street Vendors!" * --- Important Clarification for the International Reader This text is not a historical account. It is a fictional, satirical alternate-history scenario that imagines: What would have happened to Abdel Fattah El-Sisi if the January 25, 2011 revolution had never occurred? In this imagined timeline: · There was no revolution. · Therefore there was no coup. · Therefore El-Sisi never came to power. · Therefore his fate would have been – in this satirical vision – a minor administrative post as Deputy Governor of Cairo, tasked with removing street vendors and cleaning the Corniche in preparation for a visit by Suzanne Mubarak. --- Full English Translation Dr. Ahmed Nazif, the Prime M...
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The Egyptian-Saudi Publishing House – A Satirical Catalogue of Book Releases". *"The Jurisprudence of Fatta and the Atlas of the Ardha Dance – The Egyptian-Saudi House's Latest Releases!" *.

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "The Egyptian-Saudi Publishing House – A Satirical Catalogue of Book Releases" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"The Jurisprudence of Fatta and the Atlas of the Ardha Dance – The Egyptian-Saudi House's Latest Releases!" * --- Full English Translation On the occasion of the opening of the Cairo International Book Fair, the Egyptian-Saudi Publishing and Distribution House announces its latest releases, now available in the market. 📚 Reserve your copy before it sells out 📚 1. "The Jurisprudence of Fatta" – according to the school of the Four Kings, by Imam Al-Madkhali the Great, Abu Aliwa bin Asaad Al-Habrani. 2. Studies on "Kabsa" and Its Da'wa Impact in the Land of Hijaz, by Sheikh Nawaf Al-Batni. 3. Contemporary Maizi Thought and Its Role in the Stability of Regimes in Third World Countries, by Dr. Zaghloul Abu Al-Arif. 4. "The Encyclopaedia of Egyptian Media from Ahmed Said to Ahmed ...
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*"Israel Calls for an Urgent Meeting of the Arab Defence Ministers Council in Tel Aviv – And Aboul Gheit Supervises the Israeli Security File!" * ..." When the Occupation Becomes a Founding Member"

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "Israel's Permanent Delegate to the Arab League – When the Occupation Becomes a Founding Member" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"Israel Calls for an Urgent Meeting of the Arab Defence Ministers Council in Tel Aviv – And Aboul Gheit Supervises the Israeli Security File!" * --- Full English Translation URGENT / Israel's Permanent Delegate to the Arab League, Eliahu Cohen, has called for an urgent meeting of the Arab Defence Ministers Council tomorrow at the League's new headquarters in Tel Aviv, to discuss taking deterrent measures against Hamas in Gaza for its refusal to disarm, surrender, and hand itself over to Israel — and to form a joint Arab-Israeli military deterrence force to confront its elements who have infiltrated and spread in the West Bank and to eradicate them, in implementation of the joint defence agreement between Israel and the Arab states, and in pursuit of the supreme strategic interest...
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*"Egypt Ranks First in the Middle East in Sewage Production – Madbouly Calls on the People to Increase Their Output and Desalinate It for Golf Courses and Swimming Pools" *

 Comprehensive English Analysis: "Egypt Declares Its National Treasure of Sewage Water – 35 Billion Cubic Metres Annually" --- Sarcastic Headline (for your English Blog) *"Egypt Ranks First in the Middle East in Sewage Production – Madbouly Calls on the People to Increase Their Output and Desalinate It for Golf Courses and Swimming Pools" * --- Full English Translation The Republic of Kafr Al-Hanadwa / Dr. Mostafa Madbouly, Prime Minister, has called on the Egyptian people to increase their production of sewage water, preserve every drop of it, and not waste it – in anticipation of the expected water scarcity crisis after the completion of the Ethiopian Renaissance Dam, and to save what may remain of the Nile water and allocate it for drinking and bathing. This is in order to direct the strategic national reserve of sewage water, after recycling and desalinating it, to golf courses, swimming pools, jacuzzis, artificial lakes, and dancing fountains in the New Adminis...
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