Abu Lahab Sends Thank You Cable to President Sisi, Applauds His 'Historic' Condemnation of 1400 Years of Religious 'Backwardness'"

Abu Lahab Sends Thank You Cable to President Sisi, Applauds His 'Historic' Condemnation of 1400 Years of Religious 'Backwardness'"

Translation of the Original Text:

"Abu Lahab sent a thank-you cable to President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi, expressing his utmost appreciation for the President's recent statements at the Military Academy about the religious backwardness and degradation people have suffered for 1,400 years.

Abu Lahab said:'We used to be enlightened by the wisdom of Hubal, the ideas of Al-Lat, and the sound mind of Al-Uzza, living in harmony with our gods until Muhammad came upon us, equated us with the rabble and slaves, ridiculed our religion and our gods, and incited his followers against us, the masters of Quraysh, generation after generation. And today, you have come, Your Excellency the President, to grant us justice and prove the validity of our position against Muhammad's religion, and that we were right to fight his religion and deter people from it. And here you are, taking the banner from us and resuming our journey of struggle anew.'"

Explanation for International Readers:

This is an exceptionally sharp and daring piece of satire that makes a profoundly controversial political and religious critique by using one of the most infamous figures in Islamic history.

1. The Historical Figure of Abu Lahab:

· Abu Lahab ("Father of Flame") was the uncle of the Prophet Muhammad and one of his most bitter enemies. He is explicitly condemned in the Quran (Surah Al-Masad, Chapter 111), which states he and his wife will enter Hellfire.

· Using him as the narrator is the ultimate insult - it places the current president in the role of being praised by Islam's archetypal enemy.

2. The Core Satirical Attack:

· The satire responds to real, controversial statements made by President Sisi at the Military Academy where he criticized religious discourse and spoke about "backwardness" over centuries.

· The text takes this criticism to its most extreme conclusion: if you condemn 1,400 years of Islamic history, you're essentially agreeing with Islam's original opponents who fought against Prophet Muhammad.

3. The Blasphemous Comparison:

· By having Abu Lahab celebrate Sisi as continuing his "struggle," the satire makes the explosive suggestion that the president's policies align with the pre-Islamic pagans who opposed Islam's establishment.

· The mention of the pre-Islamic gods Hubal, Al-Lat, and Al-Uzza - whom early Muslims fought to eradicate - adds layers of religious offense to the political criticism.

4. Political Context:

· This represents the most extreme form of criticism from Islamist circles toward Sisi, who came to power after overthrowing the Muslim Brotherhood-affiliated president Mohamed Morsi.

· The satire suggests that Sisi isn't just a political opponent but is fundamentally anti-Islamic in his orientation - the most serious accusation possible in this context.

5. Literary Sophistication:

· The text masterfully uses Islamic historical narrative against the current leadership, turning religious orthodoxy into a weapon of political critique.

· The formal "thank you cable" format contrasts absurdly with the blasphemous content, creating a powerful satirical tension.

This piece represents the nuclear option in political satire within an Islamic context - using the religion's most condemned historical figure to attack a contemporary leader. It reflects the deep polarization in Egyptian society and the weaponization of religious discourse in political battles.