Black Friday Sale: Gently Used Civilization, Prime Location, Docile Population


Black Friday Sale: Gently Used Civilization, 

Prime Location, Docile Population



(Satire) – A mock classified ad is circulating in Arabic online spaces, offering a scathing critique of international power dynamics and the perception of international deals. The text, presented as a sales listing, is a dense piece of political satire.


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Full Translation of the Text:


"The Grand Auction


For Sale to the Highest Bidder / A Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity


An African, Mediterranean country with a temperate climate year-round. Located at the corner of two continents and two seas, featuring a licensed international maritime passage. Fertile soil, abundant water, extremely rich in minerals and antiquities. Ideal for tourism and commerce, with cheap labor. Suitable for industry and all purposes. Easy to steer and features an obedient populace.


50-Year Warranty.


Asking Price: $2 Trillion.


For contact, inquiries, and bid submissions: Washington / The Oval Office. Brokers are asked to refrain."


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In-Depth Analysis for the International Reader:


This text is a masterclass in layered satire, using the format of a commercial sales ad to launch a bitter critique.


1. The Core Metaphor: A Nation for Sale

   The fundamental joke is presenting an entire country—implicitly Egypt—as a commodity to be auctioned off to the highest bidder. This directly satirizes the feeling among many that their nation's sovereignty, resources, and future are being bargained away in deals brokered by external powers.

2. Target of the Satire:

   · International Powers (The Buyers): The ad is directed at foreign governments and financial institutions (specifically the U.S., indicated by "The Oval Office") who are perceived as treating nations as assets rather than sovereign entities.

   · Local Elites (The Sellers): It implicitly criticizes the ruling class within the country, accused of being willing to "sell" national assets and sovereignty to fulfill international agendas or secure their own position.

3. Key Satirical Elements Decoded:

   · "Licensed international maritime passage": A clear, cynical reference to the Suez Canal, one of Egypt's most critical strategic and economic assets, framed as a mere selling point.

   · "Cheap labor... Suitable for industry": A jab at the exploitation of the local workforce and the country's position in the global economy as a source of inexpensive labor for foreign corporations.

   · "Easy to steer and features an obedient populace": This is the most biting line. It dehumanizes the people, portraying them as a passive, manageable herd. It satirizes both the authoritarian governance that seeks total control and the international perception that views a "docile" population as a positive feature for stability and investment.

   · "50-Year Warranty": Mocks the long-term nature of international loans, treaties, and alliances that can lock a nation into a dependent relationship for decades.

   · "Washington / The Oval Office. Brokers are asked to refrain": This leaves no doubt that the satire is aimed at the highest levels of U.S. foreign policy, suggesting that such "deals" are made directly between powers, bypassing even other international mediators ("brokers").

4. The Tone: The tone is one of bitter irony. It uses the cool, promotional language of commerce to discuss the tragic erosion of national self-determination. The author is not amused but outraged, using satire as a weapon to express a profound sense of powerlessness and betrayal.

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