Presidential Decree No. 158 of 2025 (On Defining Egypt’s Strategic Commodities for National Security and Domestic Tranquility)
It has been decreed that the following goods shall be officially classified as strategic commodities, to be secured and stored for a period of six months according to national average consumption rates. Their quantities shall increase annually by 3% in proportion to population growth, with immediate replenishment of any amounts withdrawn for monthly consumption. The designated items are as follows:
1. Wheat
2. Cooking oil
3. Sugar
4. Fava beans
5. Lentils
6. Insulin and medications for blood pressure, cardiac, and neurological conditions
7. Poultry and livestock feed
8. Evian brand bottled water
9. Cat, dog, and ornamental bird food
10. Shaay El-‘Arousa tea
11. El-Fishawy coffee
This decree shall take effect immediately upon its signature and publication in the Official Gazette.
All relevant executive authorities are hereby instructed to implement it within their respective jurisdictions.
Cairo, November 5, 2025
Abdel Fattah El-Sisi
President of the Republic
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Explanation (for the international reader):
This satirical “presidential decree” mimics the bureaucratic language of state documents while exposing the absurd priorities of governance in authoritarian systems. By placing Evian water, pet food, and Shaay El-‘Arousa tea on the same level of national importance as insulin and wheat, the text ridicules how the state’s “strategic planning” becomes an empty ritual — where symbolic consumption replaces real economic policy.
The exaggerated precision (“3% annual increase,” “monthly replenishment”) parodies the technocratic illusion of control, while the inclusion of luxury and trivial items underlines a deeper irony: that political absurdity is administered with administrative seriousness. The document thus reads like an official prophecy of bureaucratic madness — perfectly stamped, signed, and filed.
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