💧 The Prime Minister’s Call for National Wastewater Production

(An Official Appeal for a More Sustainable Obedience)


Cairo – Urgent:

Prime Minister Mostafa Madbouly has called upon the Egyptian people to increase their production of wastewater and to preserve every single drop of it, in anticipation of the expected water shortage following the construction of the Ethiopian Renaissance Dam.


He explained that conserving and recycling wastewater would allow what remains of the Nile’s clean water—reserved for drinking and bathing—to be redirected, after treatment and desalination, to golf courses, swimming pools, jacuzzi spas, artificial lakes, and dancing fountains in the New Administrative Capital and other new cities.


The Prime Minister further highlighted the government’s ambitious plans to employ this recycled water in Egypt’s upcoming Artificial Rain Project 2030, a visionary initiative that receives the personal attention of President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi.


Dr. Madbouly concluded by affirming that wastewater is a “renewable national resource” that must be utilized to its fullest potential.



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🔍 Analytical Commentary for the International Reader


1. Opening Sentence: Bureaucratic Sanctification of Absurdity


The text mimics the solemn tone of state media bulletins, turning it against itself.

The call to “increase wastewater production” transforms a grotesque impossibility into patriotic duty. The humour emerges not from exaggeration, but from the perfect imitation of official diction — where madness is phrased with bureaucratic calm.


Here, “wastewater” becomes a metaphor for moral decay institutionalized as national virtue. The state doesn’t fix the system; it perfects the sewage.



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2. Reversing Priorities: From Thirst to Luxury


By stating that clean Nile water will be saved “for drinking and bathing” — only to be redirected to “golf courses, jacuzzis, and dancing fountains” — the text reveals a grotesque hierarchy of value.

Ordinary citizens recycle filth so that the elite may swim in recycled opulence.

It’s a satire of developmental vanity: environmental rhetoric hijacked to justify inequality.



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3. The “Artificial Rain Project 2030”: The Bureaucratic Utopia


The government’s plan to create “artificial rain” transforms control over water into a fantasy of divine authority.

Rain — the ancient Egyptian symbol of renewal — is now bureaucratized, industrialized, and scheduled.

This mocks the cult of “Vision 2030” projects: colossal in rhetoric, absurd in logic, sacred in propaganda.



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4. Closing Declaration: Turning Waste into Doctrine


> “Wastewater is a renewable national resource.”

This final line encapsulates the entire philosophy of bureaucratic optimism in decay.

It converts failure into resource, pollution into ideology.

In tone and rhythm, it imitates a ministerial press release, achieving the purest form of irony: the language of order used to describe insanity.





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5. Underlying Allegory


Wastewater = the exhausted citizen, drained yet recycled for national performance.


Recycling = propaganda, the aesthetic of reusing failure.


Golf courses & fountains = symbolic of elite spectacle that feeds on collective deprivation.


Artificial rain = illusion of progress engineered by control.




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6. Satirical Lineage


This piece belongs squarely to the Digital Nadim School of Satire, an evolution of 19th-century Egyptian political wit (as embodied by Abdullah Al-Nadim) transposed into the digital age.

It merges Swiftian irony with Orwellian diction, turning bureaucratic announcements into mirrors of authoritarian absurdity.

elnadim satire

The laughter it provokes is not liberating — it’s diagnostic.

It exposes how systems teach people to applaud their own degradation, all in the name of “optimization”.




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