The Last Working Cannon: Satire Lambs Egypt's Military, Saying Only the Ramadan Cannon Still Fires"

 Of course. This is a profoundly eloquent and bitter piece of satire that uses a beloved cultural tradition to deliver a devastating critique of the state's military and security apparatus.

🎭 Publication-Ready English Translation

The Last Working Cannon: Satire Lambs Egypt's Military, Saying Only the Ramadan Cannon Still Fires"

(Text)

The"Iftar Cannon" during Ramadan has become the only cannon in our country that still works and performs its role.

This is after all our other cannons have fallen silent, been struck mute, eaten by rust, and turned backward to point their barrels at us—instead of at the Zionists—should we ever think of getting rid of those who have squandered our national security, or of reclaiming our stolen dignity and our plundered country.

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🔍 Analysis for the International Reader

This text is a masterwork of political allegory, using a single, powerful symbol to critique the entire structure of state power and its perceived betrayal of the people.

· The Central Metaphor: The "Iftar Cannon" vs. The "Other Cannons"

  · The Iftar Cannon: In many Muslim countries, a cannon is fired daily at sunset during the holy month of Ramadan to signal the time to break the fast (Iftar). It is a symbol of tradition, community, peace, and religious observance. By praising it as the "only working cannon," the author sets up a poignant contrast.

  · The "Other Cannons": This represents the entire Egyptian military and security establishment—one of the largest and most heavily funded in the region. The satire claims that this vast arsenal is useless for its supposed primary purpose: defending the nation and confronting external threats (symbolized by "the Zionists").

· The Scathing Critique: A Military Turned Inward

  The description of the other cannons is where the satire delivers its most damning accusations:

  1. "Fallen silent, been struck mute, eaten by rust": This suggests the military has become decayed, ineffective, and obsolete in its role of national defense. It implies a failure to modernize, maintain readiness, or achieve meaningful strategic goals.

  2. "Turned backward to point their barrels at us": This is the core of the critique. It alleges that the security apparatus is no longer focused on external enemies but has been turned against the Egyptian people themselves to suppress dissent and maintain the regime's power. The "cannons" are now tools of internal oppression.

  3. "Should we ever think of getting rid of those who have squandered our national security...": This makes the threat explicit. The satire states that the purpose of these inward-pointing cannons is to prevent any popular movement that seeks to hold the ruling elite accountable for perceived failures, such as the loss of national sovereignty or economic collapse ("our plundered country").

· The Deeper Meaning: A Lament for National Dignity

  Beyond the critique of the military, this piece is a lament for a lost sense of national purpose and dignity. It contrasts the harmless, cultural function of the Ramadan cannon with the menacing, domestic role of the real military. The underlying message is that the state has abandoned its duty to protect the nation's interests abroad and has instead become an occupying force at home, protecting a corrupt elite from its own citizens.

💡 The Satire in a Nutshell

This text argues that the Egyptian state, particularly its military, has undergone a fundamental perversion of its role. It is no longer a shield protecting the people from external threats but a sword held at the throat of the populace to prevent them from reclaiming their power, their wealth, and their national honor. The beloved Ramadan cannon serves as a bitter reminder of what true, peaceful, and culturally cohesive power looks like, in stark contrast to the oppressive force the state has become.

This is one of the most poetically powerful and politically charged satires in the collection, perfectly encapsulating the feeling of a nation betrayed by its own protectors.