"Higher Education Breakthrough: Egypt to Offer World’s First Bachelor’s Degree in Pro-Government Praise (BS in Sycophancy)”

"In Unprecedented Academic Move, Egypt to Found 'College of Applaudery Arts' to Systematize State Media Cheerleading"

📝 Translation of the Text

"URGENT/

The Ministry of Higher Education has approved the establishment of theCollege of Applaudery Arts at Cairo University to graduate a new generation of journalists, media professionals, and electronic committees on scientific and methodological foundations. This generation will be capable of confronting the overwhelming criticism of the President and the government on social media pages and in the Egyptian street, replacing the current generation which has failed miserably in performing this task and has become a source of derision, contempt, and mockery among all classes of the people. This failure is due to its reliance on insults, curses, lies, and fabrications because of its ignorant and haphazard nature.

Students will study the Arabic language to master 'applaudery' through it, along with subjects in history, politics, economics, literature, culture, the arts of debate and dialogue, mixing up the cards, twisting facts, and erasing principles and morals on a scientific basis under the instruction of professors from faculties of Arts, Political Science, and the Acting Institute."

🧐 Explanation of the Satire

This text is a sharp piece of political satire critiquing pro-government media and propaganda efforts in Egypt. It uses the formal language of an official educational decree to propose an absurd concept, exposing what the author sees as the state's desire to professionalize and institutionalize media sycophancy.

The satire gains potency from the real context of rapid university expansion in Egypt. The government has recently approved the creation of several new universities and faculties, making the fictional announcement of another new college sound plausible to a local audience.

Here is a breakdown of the key satirical elements:

Satirical Element

Meaning & Context

"College of Applaudery Arts"

The core joke.The term "التطبيلية" (al-tatbiliyya) derives from "التطبيل" (al-tatbeel), meaning to beat a drum for someone. Politically, it refers to uncritical, fawning praise for those in power. Framing this as an academic discipline worthy of a university college is a sarcastic critique of pro-government media.

Replacing the "Failed" Current Generation

This satirizes the perceived low quality and crude tactics of some pro-state commentators,who are criticized for relying on insults and fabrications. The text suggests the state sees a need for a more sophisticated, "scientific" propaganda apparatus.

"Mixing up the cards, twisting facts" as Curriculum

The proposed curriculum inverts the purpose of a real education.Instead of seeking truth, students would be formally trained in manipulation, misinformation, and ethical erosion, taught by professors from legitimate fields.

Similarity to "Applied Arts"

The satire cleverly parodies the name of the real and respectedFaculty of Applied Arts ("كلية الفنون التطبيقية") found in several Egyptian universities. The substitution of one letter creates "كلية الفنون التطبيلية," mocking the idea of applying artistic skill to political bootlicking.

In essence, this text critiques the perceived transformation of media into a state tool, suggesting that loyalty and propaganda skills are becoming more valued than journalistic integrity or critical thought, to the point of being formally institutionalized.

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