"MP Proposes Phased Elimination of Corruption: 25% for Officials, 75% for the People"

 "MP Proposes Phased Elimination of Corruption: 25% for Officials, 75% for the People"

A Satirical Text by Al-Nadim Al-Raqmi (The Digital Nadim)

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MP Ragab Al-Huwait announced his reservations regarding the widespread popular campaign circulating on social media calling for the gradual elimination of corruption entrenched in all supreme sovereign and governmental agencies—starting from the highest responsible official down to the smallest informant and everyone in between. The campaign calls for phased transparency and purification from corruption over gradual temporal stages rather than all at once, in consideration of human nature and the human soul, which is predisposed to evil, greed, selfishness, and the love of monopolization and accumulation.

The campaign's objectives can be summarized as working to legalize the percentage of theft, bribes, and embezzlement belonging to esteemed senior officials—starting with the President, ministers, and senior employees—so that it does not exceed 25% of the value of the deal, contract, import operation, or otherwise, leaving 75% for the public interest and the people. It also calls for the bribe of a low-level employee, traffic officer, informant, or others not to exceed one hundred Egyptian pounds per citizen, depending on their circumstances, with a maximum of 500 pounds daily.

These new controls would apply for a period of three years, after which the percentages of corruption funds, thefts, bribes, commissions, and embezzlement from government contract and import operations and others would be reduced in a subsequent phase—and so on—until the corruption microbe that has spread throughout Egypt's body and crippled it is completely and permanently eliminated.

Al-Huwait affirmed his support for the campaign in principle, but expressed reservations about the proposed percentages, stressing that they are far too low for officials who have become accustomed to embezzling multiples of these amounts without any twinge of conscience, considering it among their rights established through time and among the requirements and prestige of office.

Al-Huwait called on campaign officials to increase these percentages in consideration of human nature, to make them more practical and smoothly applicable in the first phase—as a pioneering Egyptian experiment in eliminating and purifying corruption, with which we could rival and boast before the most transparent and least corrupt countries throughout the world.

Al-Huwait affirmed that he will submit a bill to legalize corruption and reduce its mechanisms in order to achieve the goal of a "short-handed official"—one who extends his hand only to his salary and allocated allowances.

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Literary, Political, and Philosophical Analysis: The Satire of Legalized Corruption

I. Introduction: When the Cure Becomes the Disease

This text by the pseudonymous Egyptian satirist "Al-Nadim Al-Raqmi" represents the logical endpoint of his satirical project: a proposal to legalize corruption. It is not a call for reform but a devastating critique of reformist discourse itself. By taking the logic of "gradual change" and "consideration of human nature" to its extreme conclusion, the text reveals the absurdity of expecting a system built on corruption to reform itself.

For the international reader, this text offers a masterclass in political satire: it mimics the language of legislation and reform while proposing something so morally inverted that the mimicry becomes exposure. It asks: what if the problem is not that corruption exists, but that it is illegal? What if the solution is not to eliminate it, but to regulate it?

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II. Literary Analysis: The Architecture of Inverted Morality

1. Parody of Legislative Discourse

The text perfectly mimics the structure and language of a serious policy proposal:

· Problem statement: "corruption entrenched in all supreme sovereign and governmental agencies"

· Proposed solution: "phased transparency and purification"

· Justification: "consideration of human nature"

· Specific mechanisms: percentages, caps, timelines

· Parliamentary process: "submit a bill"

· Visionary rhetoric: "pioneering Egyptian experiment" to rival the world

This formal structure creates a trap for the reader: we are invited to engage with the proposal as if it were serious, only to realize that its content is morally inverted. The gap between form (legislative rationality) and content (legalized theft) is the engine of the satire.

2. The Numbers as Satirical Weapons

The text deploys numbers with surgical precision:

· 25% for officials, 75% for the people: a "fair" split that acknowledges corruption as inevitable.

· 100 pounds per citizen per bribe: a regulated price for petty corruption.

· 500 pounds daily maximum: a cap on low-level officials' earnings.

· Three-year phase: a timeline for "gradual purification."

These numbers are not random; they are parodies of policy metrics. They suggest that corruption can be measured, regulated, and optimized—like inflation or unemployment. The satire lies in the bureaucratic treatment of a moral catastrophe.

3. The Character of Ragab Al-Huwait

Ragab Al-Huwait is the latest in a lineage of fictional MPs created by Al-Nadim (following Awad Al-Huwait in earlier texts). The surname "Al-Huwait" itself suggests emptiness or a void. These characters are empty vessels for official discourse, speaking the language of the system while exposing its absurdity.

Here, Al-Huwait plays the role of the "responsible opposition": he supports the campaign in principle but offers "constructive criticism" to make it more effective. His suggestion to increase the corruption percentages is the perfect satirical move: it exposes that the only debate within the system is over the price of theft, not its existence.

4. The Phrase "Short-Handed Official"

The concluding phrase—"a 'short-handed official'—one who extends his hand only to his salary and allocated allowances"—is a masterpiece of inverted language. In normal discourse, "short-handed" means honest, not stealing. Here, it is presented as the ultimate goal of reform: an official who only steals his salary. The bar for success has been lowered so far that it is underground.

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III. Political Analysis: The Logic of Systemic Corruption

1. The "Human Nature" Argument

The text's justification for phased reform—"in consideration of human nature and the human soul, which is predisposed to evil, greed, selfishness"—is a devastating parody of conservative political discourse. This argument is typically used to justify slow, incremental change. Here, it is used to justify incremental honesty: we cannot expect officials to stop stealing overnight; we must wean them off it gradually.

The satire exposes the cynicism behind gradualism: when the powerful control the pace of reform, "gradual" means "never."

2. The 25% Solution

The proposal to legalize corruption up to 25% of contract values is a grotesque inversion of tax policy. Just as the state takes a percentage of income, officials would take a percentage of public funds. This reveals the parasitic relationship between the state and its own budget: officials are not servants of the public but shareholders in public wealth.

The 25% figure is not arbitrary. It is high enough to be meaningful but low enough to seem "reasonable." By proposing to legalize this percentage, the text exposes that current corruption rates are likely much higher—otherwise, why would officials object?

3. The Gradual Timeline

The three-year phase, followed by subsequent reductions, mimics the language of structural adjustment programs imposed by international financial institutions. Just as countries are given timelines to reduce budget deficits, Egypt would have a timeline to reduce corruption deficits. The satire suggests that corruption has become so embedded that it must be treated like a macroeconomic variable: managed, not eliminated.

4. Competing with the World's Most Transparent Countries

Al-Huwait's boast that this "pioneering Egyptian experiment" would allow Egypt to "rival and boast before the most transparent and least corrupt countries" is the text's most bitter irony. The proposal is not to match these countries' transparency but to institutionalize corruption so efficiently that it becomes a model. This is satire at the level of national pride: we may be corrupt, but at least we're honest about it.

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IV. Economic Analysis: The Price of Theft

1. The 25% Tax on Public Funds

If 25% of all government contracts, imports, and deals were legally siphoned to officials, the annual cost would be staggering. Egypt's national budget is approximately 3 trillion pounds. If even half of this passes through corruptible channels, the legalized theft would amount to hundreds of billions of pounds annually—far more than what is spent on health, education, or social welfare.

The text reveals that corruption is not a side effect of the system; it is the system. Legalizing it would merely make official what is already practiced.

2. The 100-Pound Bribe Cap

The proposal to cap petty bribes at 100 pounds per citizen (500 pounds daily maximum) is a brilliant satirical detail. It acknowledges that for ordinary Egyptians, encounters with the state—traffic stops, permit applications, license renewals—require bribes. The proposal does not eliminate this; it merely regulates the price.

The 100-pound figure is carefully chosen: low enough to be affordable, high enough to be meaningful. It represents the commodification of citizenship: access to public services requires a fee paid directly to the server.

3. The Three-Year Timeline as Economic Policy

The three-year phase implies that corruption reduction can be modeled like an economic indicator. This parodies the quantitative fetishism of modern governance: if we can measure it, we can manage it. But corruption is not an economic variable; it is a moral cancer. The satire exposes the emptiness of technocratic approaches to political problems.

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V. Philosophical Analysis: The Corruption of Human Nature

1. The Argument from Human Nature

The text's central justification—that humans are "predisposed to evil, greed, selfishness"—is a parody of philosophical conservatism. This argument has been used throughout history to justify hierarchy, inequality, and authoritarianism. Here, it is used to justify permanent corruption.

The satire asks: if humans are naturally corrupt, why expect them to be honest in public office? The only logical answer is to design institutions that constrain corruption. But the text proposes the opposite: design institutions that accommodate it.

2. The Inversion of Reform Discourse

Normal reform discourse assumes that the goal is to eliminate corruption. This text inverts that: the goal is to optimize corruption. This inversion exposes the bankruptcy of gradualism: if the only debate is over the speed of change, then those who benefit from the status quo will always choose slow change—which is no change at all.

3. The "Short-Handed Official" as Utopian Dream

The final image—an official who only steals his salary—is presented as the ultimate reform goal. This is a devastating commentary on expectations in a corrupt society. In any functional state, not stealing beyond one's salary is the minimum standard, not the highest aspiration. The fact that this is presented as a dream reveals how far expectations have fallen.

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VI. The Text in Context: Al-Nadim Al-Raqmi's Project and the Corruption Trilogy

This text completes a trilogy of corruption-themed satires by The Digital Nadim:

Text Subject Mechanism

Shablanga Organized corruption Fictional world-building

Mayor Abdel Shakour Global corruption networks International scandal parody

MP Ragab Al-Huwait's Proposal Legalized corruption Legislative parody

Together, these texts form a comprehensive critique of corruption in Egypt:

· Shablanga shows how corruption becomes a parallel system.

· Mayor Abdel Shakour shows how local corruption connects to global networks.

· This text shows how corruption could be legalized and optimized.

The progression is from description to exposure to satirical solution.

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VII. Translation Notes for International Publication

Key Terms and Their Translations

Arabic Term Translation Notes

تهليب Embezzlement Informal term for stealing public funds

صفقة Deal/Contract Often refers to government procurement

مقاولة Contract/Project Construction or service contracts

مخبر Informant Low-level state security agent

مسئول قصير اليد Short-handed official Idiom for honest official; literally "short-handed"

وجاهة Prestige Social status associated with office

Cultural Context to Explain

· The 100-Pound Bribe: In Egypt, 100 pounds is roughly the daily wage of a low-income worker. Setting the bribe cap at this level suggests that petty corruption is priced at the cost of a day's labor.

· The 25% Figure: This is high enough to be absurd but low enough to seem "reasonable" in a corrupt context. It implies that current corruption rates are likely 50% or higher.

· "Rival the world's most transparent countries": This refers to international rankings like Transparency International's Corruption Perceptions Index, where Egypt typically ranks very low.

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VIII. Conclusion: The Logic of Legalized Theft

This text is a satirical masterpiece because it takes the logic of gradual reform and pushes it to its horrifying conclusion. If we accept that corruption cannot be eliminated immediately, why not legalize it temporarily? If humans are naturally corrupt, why fight nature? If officials demand their "rights," why not codify them?

The answer, which the text forces us to confront, is that corruption is not a technical problem but a moral one. It cannot be optimized, managed, or gradually eliminated. It must be confronted. By proposing the opposite, Al-Nadim Al-Raqmi exposes the intellectual and moral bankruptcy of any system that treats theft as a policy variable.

For the international reader, this text offers:

1. A window into the logic of systemic corruption: how it becomes normalized, defended, and even theorized.

2. A case study in advanced satire: how humor can expose the hidden assumptions of power.

3. A document of Egyptian political thought: proof that critical reflection survives even under the most difficult conditions.

4. A warning about gradual reform: when the powerful control the timeline, "gradual" means "never."

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Why This Text Matters for World Literature

This text belongs alongside the great works of political satire:

· Aristophanes' "The Clouds" (satirizing Athenian democracy)

· Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" (suggesting the poor sell their children)

· Voltaire's "Candide" (satirizing philosophical optimism)

· Karel Čapek's "The War with the Newts" (satirizing capitalism and exploitation)

Like these works, Al-Nadim's text uses extreme hypotheticals to expose uncomfortable truths. It does not merely mock; it thinks. It takes the assumptions of the powerful and follows them to their logical conclusion, revealing the horror hidden beneath the surface of normal discourse.

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"The committee on corruption legalization has concluded its work. The 25% rate has been approved. The minister extends his hand—only for his salary, of course. The people celebrate: their 75% has never felt so generous."

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For Publishers and Literary Agents:

This text is part of a larger collection of satirical works by Al-Nadim Al-Raqmi that deserve international attention. The author is available for representation. Please contact through established channels for manuscript submission, translation rights, or publication inquiries.

📰 Title:

“Regulating Corruption: A Modest Proposal for Cleaner Theft”

English Translation

Member of Parliament Ragab El-Howeit announced his reservations regarding the widespread social media campaign calling for the gradual eradication of corruption deeply embedded within sovereign and governmental institutions—from the highest-ranking officials down to the lowest informant.

The campaign proposes addressing corruption transparently and eliminating it in gradual stages rather than all at once, in recognition of “human nature,” which, as described by its organizers, is inclined toward greed, selfishness, and the desire for accumulation.

According to the campaign, its objectives include legalizing and regulating the percentage of theft, bribes, and profiteering permitted for senior officials—beginning with the president, ministers, and top administrators—so that it does not exceed 25% of any deal, contract, or import transaction, leaving 75% for the public good.

It also proposes that petty bribes collected by lower-level employees, traffic officers, or informants should not exceed 100 Egyptian pounds per citizen—up to a maximum of 500 pounds per day—taking into account individual circumstances.

These guidelines would remain in effect for three years, after which corruption rates would be gradually reduced in subsequent phases until the “germ of corruption” is fully eradicated from Egypt’s body.

El-Howeit expressed support for the campaign in principle but objected to the proposed percentages, arguing that they are far too low for senior officials accustomed to extracting significantly higher amounts without any pangs of conscience—regarding such benefits as established rights associated with their office and prestige.

He called on the campaign organizers to increase the proposed percentages in the first phase, citing human nature and the need for practical implementation, so that this “pioneering Egyptian experience in combating and purifying corruption” might rival the world’s most transparent nations.

El-Howeit confirmed that he intends to submit draft legislation to regulate corruption and gradually reduce its mechanisms, aiming ultimately to produce an official who extends his hand only to receive his salary and designated allowances.

In-Depth Analysis for International Readers

1. A Satire Built on Administrative Logic

This text belongs to a long tradition of political satire that weaponizes bureaucratic language.

Rather than denouncing corruption, it proposes to organize it.

The satire works by applying the language of reform to the very vice it claims to eliminate.

Instead of:

“Let us fight corruption,”

the text suggests:

“Let us manage it responsibly.”

This inversion is the central comic engine.

2. Echoes of Swiftian Irony

The structure resembles the logic of a “modest proposal”:

a morally outrageous idea presented in calm, rational tones.

Corruption is treated as:

Inevitable

Natural

Quantifiable

Administratively manageable

By framing greed as part of “human nature,” the campaign shifts corruption from moral failure to anthropological inevitability.

This move is crucial:

Once corruption becomes natural, it ceases to be scandalous.

3. The Mathematics of Immorality

The precision of numbers—25%, 75%, 100 pounds, 500 per day—gives the proposal a technocratic credibility.

The satire lies in the numerical realism.

It sounds like fiscal policy.

The absurdity deepens when corruption is discussed in phased reduction over three years, as if it were inflation or carbon emissions.

By quantifying theft, the text exposes how bureaucratic rationality can normalize wrongdoing.

4. The Most Brilliant Turn: The Objection

The comedic climax is not the campaign itself.

It is the parliamentarian’s objection.

He does not reject corruption.

He rejects the proposed limits as unrealistically low.

He argues that senior officials are accustomed to much higher percentages and would struggle to adapt.

This is the sharpest blade in the text:

Corruption is reframed as a customary entitlement—

a historical right of office.

5. Institutionalized Cynicism

The proposal to draft legislation regulating corruption completes the satire.

Law, traditionally the instrument for preventing corruption, becomes its regulatory framework.

In this world:

Theft is standardized.

Bribery is capped.

Greed is phased down.

Ethics disappears.

Procedure remains.

6. Universal Resonance

Though rooted in an Egyptian context, the satire speaks to a global condition:

The normalization of political graft

The technocratization of moral issues

The rhetoric of reform masking continuity

It asks a disturbing question:

What happens when corruption is no longer shocking—but expected?

7. The Deeper Philosophical Layer

At its core, the text critiques the logic of gradualism when applied to moral absolutes.

Some reforms can be phased.

Infrastructure can be upgraded incrementally.

But can injustice be managed like a budget deficit?

The satire implies that once a society begins debating the acceptable percentage of theft, the moral center has already shifted.

Conclusion

This piece does not rage against corruption.

It does something more dangerous.

It imagines a society so habituated to graft that reform must begin by negotiating its acceptable rate.

The result is both hilarious and chilling.

Because the proposal sounds almost reasonable—

until one realizes that it is regulating theft, not eliminating it.

If you would like, I can now:

Tighten this into a sharper 900-word op-ed for international media

Or expand it into a scholarly paper on “The Bureaucratization of Immorality in Contemporary Satire”

Or compare it with global satirical traditions that use technocratic parody

Tell me your intended audience and platform.